Felix

Wet Shaving

2011-08-31T21:57:00.003+08:00

Feather Popular Double Edged Razor

Feather Popular NEW Hi-Stainless Steel Platinum Coated

Proraso Shaving Cream (Tube)

Shaving Brush

Closest Shave yet.

The best shave ever. Got to improve on technique, with practice of course (:

Gonna try 4 shaves per blade (shaving approx 3 times a week).

$23 for Razor

$5 for 10 Razor Blades

all things classic/vintage/traditional?

2011-08-29T04:03:00.001+08:00

Steel Road Bikes

Calisthenics

Safety Razors and Wet Shaving.

2011-08-09T21:05:00.000+08:00

2011-07-28T21:40:00.001+08:00

We all have our doubts about things don't we? I've my doubts about my relationship, my decision to continue training and also confidence in myself that I'm capable of doing anything I set myself to by believing in myself. Self-belief is extremely important. For if one doesn't believe in himself, how then can others believe in him?

having a goal to work towards to.

2011-07-02T16:57:00.001+08:00

Triathlete. I need a hobby to focus my time/money/energy on. Planning in army.

thoughts

2011-06-16T05:36:00.001+08:00

I do think of you every now and then. I smile sometimes, tear most of the time. I miss you.

agenda

2011-06-14T09:37:00.007+08:00

1. Army
-Commando Gold asap
-Basic Airborne Course in July
-Brunei in Oct
-Red Beret in November

2. Life
-Save $500/$800 per month depending on risk allowance
-Put all relationships on hold and be extra careful when having unprotected sex
-Complete essay on my family for Study Grant by Lee Foundation
-Input my values into print and reflect daily/weekly
-Concentrate on my own goals (Physical fitness, better complexion, better personality, better decision making)
-Design and get my own tattoo. It'll be based on the foundations of having balance by the yin and yang but instead of light and darkness it'll be science and arts. To me science is the study of things and art, the pursuit of things. I have my perception, you have yours. Brainstorming on languages, symbols, equations, foundational elements of the universe like energy, space, time, atoms, general laws etc. Wow science never fails to amaze me. :O I want to learn math, biology, physics and chemistry again.

3. Relationships
-Get to know Torrance better
-DO NOT get into a relationship under 1-3 months
-Have a more specific criteria?

When being open-minded really means being open-minded. It's when I think about things intensely.

First run from Brunei 30 mins for approx 5km.

I make decisions based on my values, my considerations at a point in time, thus I'll not regret the decisions I've made. I've put enough thought into them. Reflect monthly.

Some believe in Karma. I believe in the foundational factors that makes us all human, the psychology, the cultures, the patterns of the way we behave/make decisions. Is karma really an excuse as we see couples using ways other than traditional practices to make their marriage last/be meaningful?

My life has only just begun. Behold, my greatest strength and also my greatest weakness when emotions are uncontrolled/coped with. My ability to reflect deeply on my life, the world around me. Drawing patterns, making observations, making relationships between each and every possible element of the world. I love my brain and hate it at times.

I really hope he treats you well and takes care of you. I've a bad feel about this one but who am I to judge right?

Exercise Greenwood

2011-05-24T18:45:00.003+08:00

Flying off to Brunei 250511 at 0300 hours. I think they've selected who they want for the position so I'll just do whatever I can to contribute to the whole exercise. I'll give my all I promise. No weakness.

Last post before Brunei. So that's like the face I have for being afraid of the forests of Brunei.

The last string's seeing you able to let me go. Perhaps you don't love me that much or perhaps this's how your values are. If I love someone enough I'll go through thick and thin to get to where we both want to be, not change the person to get where I want to be. So maybe you don't love me enough. Oh well. We'll see in time to come.

thoughts.

2011-05-24T12:32:00.002+08:00

just came back from geylang serai for nasi padang lunch with daddy. he has always said he'd set up his own stall/restaurant (we did have a stall for awhile so okay luh some progress luh huh) and the family would help with things. i don't think jeh and i would mind at all, to help daddy with the business if it ever happens.

i always know, and tell people too, with a business the sky's the limit or even further lol. when you're employed however, the ceiling's the limit. so yea.

daddy i really hope one day our family can rly have a fnb thing going on. we're fun around each other, we speak like friends and hey we're open minded :P

gift's 75% ready. surprise or not? i rather it be a surprise.

Concluding Thoughts

2011-05-24T09:21:00.003+08:00

So I met up with Shufen to get a little book. I've said everything I needed to but she still wouldn't change her mind so this is the end. I just feel she's not even giving us a chance to try and work things out for our future together. I do hope after I'm gone to Brunei, where I won't be able to annoy her for this 3 weeks, that we'll be able to talk things out and be together again. She's a great girl, I know it. That's why I love her and can't bear to let her go. I just hope the all too familiar, back from overseas exercise and she's with another guy. Wow then it'd be like a vicious cycle over again.

I've decided I shall not get into a new relationship, not until I'm done with army. At the very least after army. I'll try for the first time in my life to have good female friends :P

Teh couldn't get a car so I'll get the bike from him when I'm back from Brunei. So question is to strip parts from my current bashed up bike and transfer to the new or do nothing?

I've put so much effort, time, research into my bashed up roadie. Fork's a little stray so I might strip it, clean it and keep it.

This time I'll promise to clean my bike every 2 weeks. Maintainence twice every year. Quite abit of equipment. I need a new helmet, bike tools and prolly new wheels and a proper workspace for my bike. Oil, chain remover, grease, lotsa nuts and bolts and wrenches and allen keys and screwdrivers and stuff.

Daddy never listens argh. T craved for Pandan cake so I'm like Papa you know how to make Pandan cake and he's like WHY MUST MAKE PANDAN CAKE WHY CAN'T MAKE BUTTER CAKE. I'm like ... okok chill.

I'm 22. Got to work towards the future. Not that I don't have a plan but I need to be "at the push of a button" ready. Haven't been practicing that. Can I save 800 a month? If I don't get my BAC then they'll cut $300 and backpay me when I get the badge. So the govt's helping me save $300 every month so I'll save $500. Out of the $200, $50 on transportation and now that I'm single, too easy to be spending $150.

Goal is still . . . $18k by ORD (LETS SETTLE FOR $10k PLEASE MDM GAN?). Half of probably school fees if I make it to NTU (fingers crossed). And hopefully get the study grant by Lee Foundation and it'll do for now. No I hate to depend on others to lend me money and stuff. I want my own effort to bring me places. And while I'm studying I can help Ann/Kenneth out once in awhile and save money and maybe even erm some jobs? (lol train hard now but me complexion's in the gutters already sigh boohoo) because they pay good, like GOOD man.

Extend ORD? Ranger? $2k+ for 6 months? Don't think it's for me. Yes I need money but I need more recognition for my abilities than pure cash because knowledge and respect are cash cows on their own.

That being said perhaps I shall sweep the dust off the math textbook/workbooks I got before I enlisted. Free on the weekends . . . practice? Math and science is SOOO important at the higher level when understanding the basics and its purpose is key. Concepts! Foundationalll. Basicccs.

I know in everything that I do. I do my best. Even when fucking up so yea when I'm awesome I'm fawesome when I'm an ass I'm a fass.

quote

2011-05-23T22:10:00.001+08:00

Just caught BBT's latest episode.

It's better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all. Thank you sweetie.

letting go

2011-05-23T20:52:00.004+08:00

I'll have to let you go soon, once I'm completely sure things cannot work out.

I went to dig through our pics and your smile, just lights up my day. Tell me that smile's not the result of us being happy together? :/ oh wells. Somethings I cannot control nor force. I only hope that someday, when I'm done with army and my studies that you're still single and I'll hold you in my arms again.

:P

2011-05-23T09:54:00.002+08:00

I guess I needed to cry everything out. To bare my heart to the world and feel so helpless that no one's gonna save me so I've to save myself. lolwut?

Daddy saw me hug/kiss dino and he was like what're you doing. I felt SO embarrassed lol.

So much I've to get out of my mind but it's not the time to be putting these stuffs up on me blog.

I really feel as if she does love me but she wants to concentrate on her career/future and she's afraid I'll hinder her or that she might not have time for me. Baby girl I'll do anything for you. Let us tide through this challenging period together alright? It's not as if we've not had our share of major decisions and being thr for each other? Give us a chance. Please?

major.

2011-05-22T23:02:00.001+08:00

major project up next.

to restore the virgin road bike with all the experienced i've gained, fucking up or not for the bikes i've tried to restore. (:

after brunei luh. bummmmer RED BERET ARGH. Have to go through and get it at the end of the day. I'm capable of it so how can I not go? Darn it.

bah.

2011-05-22T22:37:00.002+08:00

I'm a busy thinking doing person.

My hobbies are
-Cycling (I love you, gives me money too LOL in SOME ways luh argh.)
-Swimming
-Running (hate it but it's good)
-Cooking/Baking (nah I prefer to referring to making things to eat and things that look nice so people will say nice things heee)
-Collecting bicycles/revamping stuff (daddy's mongoose, 2 cruisers, my battered up shimano bike, viner (sold hehe) and another old shimano bike (which I'm getting back from Wen Sen)

THE WHOLE PURPOSE OF THIS IS CUZ I'M SO EXCITED I'M GETTING BACK MY VIRGIN BICYCLE BUY of $190. I was so greedy and wanted better stuff when in fact this bike was sufficient enough for countless adventures on the road.

-buy first bike $190
-sold to teh for $140
-bought viner for $550
-sold viner for $1000
-bought shimano for $400
-upgraded it totalling $1.5-$2k ( accident gave me tentatively $8.8k nego for $10k )
-buy back from teh for $20

Let's go riding babeeeh!

Miss riding so much. I'll treat you with care my old flame. I'll take care of you until you break. Then I'll bury you. teh says your chains are rusty, new ones for you then!

CAN'T WAIT WOOHOO

a different perspective.

2011-05-22T22:02:00.003+08:00

I too had this feeling when I was with Cynthia. I was at a point in my schooling life where I had to ensure 100% effort is put in, and then some (lol).

I dedicated all my time to my classes and most of all my Final Year Projects. Research and data collection and statistical analyses and more of that *1000. Hours spent in the library, online data bases, national library, any library that had the book I wanted, lab, swimming pool (nature of the study), softwares (Visual 3D, Excel, Mathematica, whiteboard scribbles, websites that dealt with physics, statistical analyses methods/theories, mathematics, our dear OQUS Underwater Motion Capture Cameras, started with 4 or 6 then went up to 8. I was sooo happy, we then had the tether system then the biggest upgrade was the temporary tentage that meant we could do data collection in the day (limited to a certain extent :P). And more of more awesome work and effort put in :D

All of that meant I required strict dedication, physcial, psychological and emotional commitment to my work. Hence no distractions.

So that was my reason on top of a few others. And some things we cannot say, ever. I mean the true reasons deep down. The things we are ashamed of saying because we've done others wrong.

But life is as such.

ahhhhhhhhhh

2011-05-22T20:39:00.002+08:00

First time making pizza, Daddy was around and went "No need la" to olive oil in my pizza dough. It rose like mad after an hour. Crust was alright

This time, added say 1/8 cup of olive oil, didn't rise much after an hour! Baked the crust to a very strong crunch though. Hmmm

So a more crunch to chewy pizza to a crunch strong pizza . . . hmmm. Interesting. I'm fascinated by everything, always wanting to know why, how and then have my hands on things :D

relook

2011-05-22T20:00:00.002+08:00

I think making/cooking/baking basic stuff's rly fun but it's not effective for a great number of people. Cooking dishes would be so much more filling because the carbohydrates for the meal doesn't have to be rly fancy. Or rather I want YUMMY side dishes / toppings / sauces etc. DADDY PLEASE TEACH ME?

Having Daddy's Jackfruit Sorbet. Wow. Like Ice cream w/o the cream. And fRESh!

hm.

2011-05-22T19:17:00.002+08:00

Just woke up, looked at dino and thought of her. Felt more assuring now than crazy sad. Don't speak too soon, I'd crumble from time to time.

So back to watching my shows, trips to Mustafa, dota even though I'm not pro at it after so long, no more wlny and friends with benefits for me. Just wanna be a good dude. I wanna cycle so badly, great form of destressing. I've cried while cycling before lol.

Back to experimenting with everything and everything, continue planning. Rly this is an extremely important phase in my life where fucking up is gna make me suffer. I will need money, passion and my usual hardworking attitude together with MOTIVATION and I'll soarrr!

the case

2011-05-22T18:49:00.002+08:00

I didn't thought much of the traffic accident on the 26th of December that has let to a series of events to where I am now

1. Accident (Sat on the floor in shock knowing BAC is gone and technically OCS)
2. Posted to 1 CDO Bn. Pain in knees. Once had mad ass swelling I was so shocked of
3. Persisted with the injury to take my IPPT and getting CDO Silver so I can get to OCS
4. Went to OCS, however I was lagging behind and had no other form of motivation
5. 9km run, fell out in the last km. Knee felt rly painful. Couldn't march/walk because of pain in the knee joint/cap.
6. MRI out, LCL partial thickness tear, MCL sprain, sprain of meniscus, fracture of tibial plateau
7. OOC from OCS, posted to AFT for a day (yes a DAY) then to PRC for a month.
8. 1CDO Bn trainee till present (knee pain all the way, physio, PT, training)
9. 2nd MRI result - inflammation of the joint significantly reduced but still present, MCL recovered, LCL needs a little more recovery, myxoid degeneration of the posterior horn of the meniscus (supposedly wear and tear or aging) or in other words damaged, before tear.
10. Ouchie knee

Lawyer or not? We'll see but yea ouchie knee much!

Remembering you.

2011-05-22T15:31:00.002+08:00

Now I've dino by my side. He'll take your place for the hugs and kisses. Laid down and hugged dino crying. I feel so pathetic.

I used to think all that matters is the love we have for each other. Now it's different. I guess we really have to be practical. Oh wells.

:)

2011-05-22T12:57:00.006+08:00

just done preparing everything. pizza dough, hot and spicy sausages, enoki mushrooms, capsicums, pineapple chunks and gonna use lots of prawns? Blanch enoki mushrooms and prawns later. Heat up tomato puree, add the mixed spices. Then it's spreading timeee.

--

Hawaiian Pizza was good. Seafoody not so, that's where my thought that there're certain stuff that's rly easy to make, like cheesy pizza or cream pasta. However when it involves tricky things that require cooking components on its own and experience, then I'd fail. Or at least fail for the time being :P

was starting to make the dough when sis asked me if she was coming over. I couldn't control myself, tear-ed up badly.

I'll be there if you need someone kay SF? *hugs*

:)

2011-05-22T12:57:00.001+08:00

:O

2011-05-22T11:18:00.001+08:00

The "Strangers, again." video, heart achey.

happy and sad.

2011-05-22T05:32:00.002+08:00

Met SF after a relatively early bookout. Flying off to Brunei on the 25/05/11 at 0300. Today's the last day we get to spend as a couple and I must say it has been a great experience. I felt happy again, trying my best to think there'll be a different outcome.

She came over and we had a good talk. Had dinner at Pasta De Waraku at Changi Airport Terminal 2. Sent her home and that's the last time we'll spend together as a couple.

I've decided, as much as I've my needs in army/life, I'll not have any friends with benefits anymore. I cherish and yearn for a loving company more than a pleasurable time.

Just got home after getting some stuffs at the 24 hr Shop n Save outlet at my neighbourhood (scary cuz there were RATS running all over the place :O).

No one can replace her, and I foolishly thought I was able to forget about her and move on in an instant. Plan A faiiled foolishly and I felt stupid.

As I am reminscing about the times we spend together, I can't help but to cry as I type it out. I came home to an empty bed on a weekend. I sat down on my chair and there was no one sleeping on my bed nor sitting on my lap. I saw my soft toy dinosaur and no one was hugging it. I saw the bath towel Mummy prepares for her and it has lost its purpose now. Lastly, the shirt she always wear at my place hung over my chair, never to be worn by her again. My feelings for her are so strong it hurts so much thinking of it. I know it's over already and it hurts so bad. I've come to terms with her reasons for ending it and I understand her point of view. However it still hurts because of my feelings for her. Of all the money in the world, all the time and effort I can spend and put in, I cannot get her back. Knowing that makes me feel so helpless.

I lie down on my bed, clutching to the shirt, crying for I've lost her. I'm amazed at how much I love her myself. I want the book she got for us. I need some form of motivation from her.

I remember how everything started. I shouldn't have deleted my wholivesnearyou account because it has the messages we exchanged. I remember how we first met, then the second time and how everything fell into place for us. The ups were crazy happy and the downs, painfully sad within this 3 months.

I rather be the good/best friend to you, than what I said earlier. I'll always choose being able to care for you and be around you than just having fun.

The older I get, the deeper I love, the harder I fall.

Let me cry myself to sleep.

adaptation and opening of the mind.

2011-05-20T07:49:00.001+08:00

This has been an invoking experience for me. Just like the OCS experience. Sometimes I've to give things up for a more fulfilling experience. I think alot, deeply, openly and logically (unless I'm clouded by deeper emotions I myself can't phantom). I think deep and hard and question foundational factors/concepts and fine tune things. So I do hate myself when I realize mistakes/errs because I ask why didn't I realize it sooner. Spent a lot of time thinking and I've a few plans in mind to continue my life. I'll be a changed man, after giving in so much blindly and not thinking things thoroughly and jumping into relationships (I always have short, emotional, physical relationships that don't last long. I never date long, just convnce them by being my best). Need to rework my whole decision making, planning process. MRI results in 2 hrs time can change my life :O I know what I want now. please give me the results I yearn for. It'll change everything! Talking to cab driver otw home to renew my passport. I bought the gift not because I want to win her heart back in a desperate effort. Since we got together I've alr made plans for her birthday gift so just fulfilling my own promise. I hope it'll turn out nice and that she'll like it. People tell me she isn't very pretty but I think she's the prettiest, cutuest and hottest (this they'll have to agree) girl I've ever known. amazing what emotions/love can do to one.

results

2011-05-20T05:08:00.001+08:00

Today's ATP day, shoot well and pocket $200. Also the day here my 2nd MRI results are out. Wishing for the *******. It'll decide if I continue or not. Combat pay cut next paycheck if one doesn't have Airborne Badge. Backpay when we get it. Form of saving for me. Plans are already set in place, still wish she loves me enough not to let me go but I know this scenario too well. Continue with plans I guess. When I saw X I felt so happy, I smiled, crush mega always makes m looking forward to physio. When I saw Y I too was happy and wow what a discussion we had. I don't agree with everything Y and N said (meanie N okay, sry I can't tell you everything it's good for you) but Y with her maturity I rly admire her. Z, well I'll wait and see what happens rly, sry for being a tad whiny kay? I need to let everything out! Can't wait for tmrrr bookout dayyy. need to meet her to get some of my stuffs back. wow tmr'll be a damn busy day for brunei packing! I miss you alot Shufen, I wish you did too. Once plans A and hopefully B kicks off I'll forget you. I have to distract myself because I'm in too deep to just drift away innocently.

sooo how?

2011-05-20T00:46:00.002+08:00

So tempted to make my blog private again because I speak my mind on my blog but wtv. So I talked to Shufen earlier and dug all that she has to say out and yea. shocked and quite hurt but I've prepared myself. will be damn jealous when she gets her next boyfriend (give it less than a month, prolly after brunei). Talked to Flol about everything. thankkks okay for being thr for me for my troubled times I rly appreciate it. can't say too much right Flol? anyhow spent $X for Shufen's bdae present. doubt I will be gng to KL with her so will gve it to her when she's back. took so long to decide. I still do love her I admit that so I want to give it as a parting gift of sorts. I rly hope she'll like it. Hint to Shufen if she's rding it. sth I said I'll do before. fulflling my promises to you. I rly am serious about you and love you alot just know that. toopeedo. lets see what happens this weekend C. oh and Shufen I rly hope your reasons for breaking up is just cuz you wanna settle early and not other reasons. I'll be able to take it just need to know. *hugs baby*. pathetic me.

hmmm

2011-05-19T22:37:00.000+08:00

hmmm I miss her alot. not used to getting late replies. always wonder what she's doing. I can't believe what some said abt us. others thought we'd last because we look so happy. interesting views. i've 2 to 4 plans currently regarding the result of the tentative breakup. I hope I'll just use the one that says we live happily ever after.

ahhh the great outdoors

2011-05-18T17:27:00.001+08:00

Went for my physio at CGH, kinda happy to see my physio hahaha. oh wells we all have our crushes. She said everything should be fine but I'll wait for the MRI to cfm. went down to Hong Lim Complex to get the Crayfish Horfun for Shufen and myself. When I saw her I was just overwhemled by my emotions. I love her very much. pretty pathetic crying, and then some more after she left. I guess I just needed to let out all my feelings for her. I can't control how others think so I'll just empty my feelings. I felt so lost. now I'm feeling better already. Back in camp for chemical def trg and I felt better being arnd others. Afterall I'm a NSF right? No point forcing sth down somebody's throat. I won't move on fast or slow. I just do whatever I think is right. a part of me wishes she'll be the one for me. she's the best girl I've ever had.

pathetic

2011-05-18T12:02:00.000+08:00

I feel so pathetic. Going through this breakup phase again. I love her so much. I need to cry everything out but I'm in army :'( I wish things were different. I wish we never met because I give too much. I've no idea on how I should pass this phase. Br
unei and Ignite + 72 alone, with my heart in shambles. I feel so weak, so vulnerable I can't even face myself.

weak

2011-05-18T09:27:00.000+08:00

I'm too weak. I need to cry so bad. I don't want to be in love again :'( it hurts too much

myself

2011-05-18T02:31:00.001+08:00

I always forget about myself when I do stuff/make plans. My plan has always been NS, degree and work hard enough for a post graduate. I'm not smart but I'm sure god damn hardworking. I forgot about my own plans. Shige reminded me that I must further my studies no matter what. I've always wanted UQ but it's far too expensive so NTU's my only choice. I'm banking on value-addedness if you will to get me in. I hope it works out. I want to study, to gain knowledge and understand and appreciate the sciences and arts for they form the world around us. For without a good feel and experience together with prior knowledge would we be living in such a beautiful world. Flaws yes but without them, there'll be no cycle, no newness. So exist freely flaws, for you make the world a better place. I've become numb or rather realize my situation. I simply took a piece of paper and roughly penned down my future. I can't have an early future. so it's impossible for us to be together. Period. Love is so distracting it overwehlmed me. I love her dearly and will miss her voice, her hair, her cheeks, her hugs and kisses, neck aches and her body but life has to go on. I made a rash and uninformed decision based on my feelings only. I'm willing to sacrifice my dreams and wants to be with someone I love. as long as there's a special someone, it's worth sacrificing for. but not everyone can make that kind of sacrifice. not everyone is like me. farewell my love. you'll always have a place in my heart.

the end

2011-05-18T00:35:00.000+08:00

I've found the loophole. Yes she's not sure if I'm the right one for her. I don't blame her. I'll just drift into nothingness and hope my heart will heal soon. I'll not ever think of a serious relationship anymore. At least not when we're at different phases of our lives. These 3 months have been the best I ever have. Thanks Shu Fen.

the pain

2011-05-17T18:46:00.000+08:00

now I'll have to deal with the pain. I stare into space and tear. my heart's torn into pieces. hold me god.

the move

2011-05-17T18:29:00.001+08:00

I've tried not to think about it. but seeing him post a comment just made me think more. Call me naive/petty but being in camp means everything is perceived differently. Maybe it's also because he's "Someone Special", good looking and hot. Insecure, yea definitely. I'm a grown up now. I won't let my feelings get in the way of making the right choice. or at least to prevent me from going crazy or being demotivated. I owe it to myself and others that if my injury's not serious I'll give my all in Brunei and distract myself. Relationships in army yea, not a good combination. She was the first girl I actually seriously considered being together for a long time. First girl I've ever been so proud of. There's always a beginning and an end I guess. This was, again an unexpected end.

the familiar kiss

2011-05-17T17:51:00.001+08:00

It scares me to know the uncertainty of relationships these days. One minute we can we happy the other minute we can be seperated. I wish things were like before where we didn't really bother much about self satisfaction. It was more for the sake of carrying on the family name and having kids and always think of their lives before our own. I admit I'm in love with the traditional way but we're attracted by different things now. How are we to go down a different route but want to reach the same old destination, where I'll have my lifelong partner in my arms till we part at death. To have the familiar hug/cuddle/kisses/laughs/tears and smiles. To always be comfortable in each other's company. I really wonder. I was surprised that she said she'll respect my decision and not want me to worry. I wish she'd say she'd never let me go because that's what I'd do. The complex cultures of relationships, guess work, decision making etc. Perhaps one day I'll decide to remain single and never bother about relationships ever because of the heartaches involved. or perhaps it's through heartaches/hardships that we learn to appreciate each other. perhaps it's part and parcel of life in this new age.

the new age relationship

2011-05-17T10:11:00.001+08:00

the new age of needs.

I know who I love and I know who I want to be with. However sometimes we need some form of attention. We want to know that others want us and we're desirable. We want to have the excitement and variety of an "affair" of sorts. It's the challenge of today. Gone are the days of traditional relationships, the wants of today's people is far less conservative. We want to be satisfied, want to get every opportunity to make sure we get our worth of things and then some if we're able to go through loopholes. always ensuring we never get caught. Indeed SAF says do things but don't get caught. Our superiors know we cheat but as long as we aren't caught doing it, we never did it. Sad but true. This's just the new way of life. Whether we choose this path or not can be controlled. We can choose the traditional was which is now the path less taken or the new norm, being liberal and wanting 100% and then some of advantage gain or satisfaction by all ways and means.

time to push on

2011-03-13T12:24:00.000+08:00

with you as my motivation I shall push on

always remembering I've to be the very best I can for myself and also for you.

I will fight on

the feeling

2011-02-12T03:02:00.000+08:00

oh the feeling.

you can't buy it.

well not directly at least. or indirectly either? because the feeling can be staged.

but when the feeling's genuine.

damn it's good.

a new age

2011-02-06T22:23:00.004+08:00

So my Chinese New Year has been a little different this year. In fact there seems to be a power trip in my brain after crossing over to OCS perhaps because of the time I have to think and also evaluate my goals and wants. This trip forced me to rethink my values/wants in life and how I'd approach the next phase of my 150 year stint on Earth.

I had this random thought that sparked off this post. That is the possibility of having the ide

al life or at least somthing similar. I'd want to have a liberal married relationship. That is to say I'll still have the traditional, get a job-get a house-get some kids but still have a very free life. That's to say I pursue my life with an open concept. Think of a marriage of convenience with some love sprinkled and the whole family package but with freedom. Or in other words live the of an ideal looking family. When we're around we d our best to keep the family as perfect as it can be but still have the liberty to pursue our own stuffs. I'll not ask more than I'm supposed to know and will still do all the sweet, required, ideal things like surprises etc. All this because I want the excitement of pursuing my own goals/dreams but still want someone to care for me or at least accompany me

till I die. Wouldn't it be a good concept instead of trying to afapt and fail miserably with all thequarreling and fuss about integrity and trust and ownership balhblahblah? Wouldn't it be nice? I wouldn't mind rly for I've then produced the perfect family and life is but a film of perspectives. Tweak your perspective and values and you'll not even

now it's "fake" and still live to a

ripe old age and have someone to care for you? I'm serious!

restart button?

2011-02-04T20:39:00.002+08:00

I've not been blogging for the past few months because I've been quite busy in the army. After the 60th CSLC and getting the 3SGT rank, I went to OCS to train to be an officer. However due to the recent accident I was involved in, my left knee's starting to show signs of both soft tissue and bony damage (?lol?) and thus I'm not able to carry on with training resulting me in being taken out of course (OOC).

I sometimes wonder do we pursue things that we can probably succeed more or take a chance with something not so concrete and do our best to make it happen? Does one lay out his/her stengths/weaknesses and makes decisions based on what will give the best outcome. However the unknown can be a better outcome but with a chance of failing with a lesson learnt. How now brown cow?

I see a need to restart and organize my life because it's becoming quite a mess (not negative, in trouble mess, mess) but just without a clear structure kind of mess. I need to physically tidy things up in my bunk, in my room or with my closet. I've to live in the now and plan for the future and I do find it quite alright to do but I've not had the time because of poor time management (yes I admit it XD).

I miss reading, studying, researching or in short gaining knowledge that I find to interest me. Not that the army's bad or anything. In fact the army's pretty exciting with all the weaponry etc and of course the leadership roles are very beneficial because you're put in realistic scenarios and in a situation where success is extremely important because lives are at stake and we've a responsibility to protect our country.

Recently I've found my memory's been failing me for some reason and it's pretty serious. I'm starting to think whether people grow up in their parent's image, whether they're conscious about it or not. The values inculcated may not be the most positive but it's present because one's surrounded by it. Throw a piece of clay up and how it shapes will depend on how the environment and the thrower interacts with it and the human psyche is something like that. Even if parent(s) don't consciously and actively imparting a value, their actions/behavior inputs a particular value into the kid. How one makes decisions etc. Very much based on what we're surrounded by.

At some point in life, we've to make a decision and stick to it. We cannot continue living by our emotions and what we feel is good at that point in time. We've to make sacrifices to ensure the decision is adhered to and succeed well. All because the more we expose ourselves to a certain something and practice to improve it we'd probably succeed in the end and be remembered/paid well for it.

At the end of the day we have to, no we must. We must have faith in the decisions we make and be as positive as we can to maximize the chances of success.

an inspiration

2010-12-12T17:46:00.002+08:00

Mr Tay inspires me. The amount of dedication and discipline he was is admirable and wow I must say it empowers me to follow suit. To lead a life of utmost control and minimal sway.

Let me see . . .

the end of the exercise.

2010-12-12T09:11:00.002+08:00

I had a bad dream. I dreamt we didn't make it. Mr C, along with me. :O

Just got back from Taiwan, the land of recycling and nice countryside people who're extremely nice to soldiers :)

To sum it up, the 11 days out in the field was really exciting to say the least. Tiring yes, sleep deprived, chomping on combat rations, walking along endless stretches of river beds, hills, mountains, avoiding goat/cow's droppings. Orders and orders, then the most surprising event that happened while the demo team was just waiting to open fire, in the open with strong winds blowing isn't fun.

3 days of Nav, we call it 3 days of free and easy R & R. As long as you know how to hide your cash *winks*, you'll be in a treat. WE bumped into the vans thrice. TWO TYPES too! I doubt the rest were as lucky. And even if they did, they prolly didn't bring enough or any at all to even get a good munch :) Ahhh the chicken cutlet, pork cutlet, milk tea with those cubed like jelly bits. When you're climbing up the mountain with your pack, signal set and a redundant 1.5 l of water, it'll give you the strongest boost ever. And I LOVE to eat. mm mm mmm.

8 days of hmmm, again toughest as yet. This time, it's the cold, the lack of sleep, the continuous chain of missions throughout. Climbing hills, bashing through night and day. We keep remembering the order of move, staggered formation, orders and orders and patrol base, FUP, FRV and recce-ing hahaha.

Only injury I got? A weird cut at my knee from tripping over a branch and falling into a high kneel position. Dedicated much?

Tekong's done.

2010-11-16T07:16:00.002+08:00

Outfield at Tekong for the first 2 Exercises are officially over. Now we've only one more challenge, the last and probably the meanest outfield, 21 days in Taiwan of which 11 days would be filled with missions!

My poor memory has started to have its effects on me. I pick things up slowly especially when we have a major lack of sleep and missions to worry about. Sigh, I really wish it hasn't affected my performance much to rid me of the opportunity to make it to OCS.

I'd probably wrap things up after the Combined Arms Parade on the very day we touch down back in Singapore. I've a feeling our feet'll be hurting so effing badly from the outfield :X

Update.

2010-11-06T05:58:00.003+08:00

Lately I've had little time on my hands partly because we only had a few days of leave and the 60th CSLC has already begun.

5 weeks have gone all too fast. We've left with 6-8 more weeks (5 weeks of important stuff) before the course ends.

Currently my goals are:
1. Passout from 60th CSLC to get my 3SGT rank.
2. Be selected for OCS.

I shall not yield. I shall be the best, if not the best amongst others, then the very best I can give.

I want to be the very best.

1 week in Tekong.
3 weeks in Taiwan.
Then it'll be smooth sailing :)

The Next Phase.

2010-10-02T03:09:00.002+08:00

My achievements
-Iron Soldier Challenge 1st Runner Up in Bravo Coy 10-12
-Iron Soldier Challenge Best in Platoon 4
-Commando Section Leaders' Course

Next Up
-The best I can ever give
-OCS

For Honor and Glory!

To be the very best.

2010-09-13T18:00:00.002+08:00

I never thought of it.

Of how I became competitive and developed the hunger for being the best. Perhaps it was after the year that I had a GPA of 0 and it pushed me hard.

I will be the best. I have only one goal running through my mind and it's to be the best in every aspect I can think of. Sure I might not talk much but I'll kill you silently.

Goals.

2010-09-13T17:47:00.001+08:00

Just came back from a 7D6N outfield at Tekong.

My goals
1. To have no weakness.
2. To do Platoon 4, Detachment 2, Staff Sara and myself proud.
3. To push my hardest and be the very best.

I will be the best.

a first for everything.

2010-09-05T09:46:00.002+08:00

There's a first for everything except of course things that'll kill you would also make it your last.

It was really fun. I never expected it to be so comfortable.

Outfield to Tekong for 7 days. Monday to Sunday. I will get into Leaders Course and hopefully OCS. I will strengthen my mindset and work smart to last throughout.

Operation Thunderstorm, we will pull through :)

Iron Soldier.

2010-09-04T11:30:00.001+08:00

I must try to get Top 10 or Top 20 for Iron Soldier. I won't let myself down.

Hmmm.

2010-08-29T17:56:00.001+08:00

We'll see if it materializes. It'd be interesting :) Open up the mind.

Hmmm.

2010-08-29T17:56:00.000+08:00

We'll see if it materializes. It'd be interesting :) Open up the mind.

yawn.

2010-08-27T03:01:00.002+08:00

tired.

latest IPPT:
SBJ: 243, 243, 250cm
Chinup: 12, 12 20
Shuttle Run: 10.2, 9.8, 9.5s
Situp: 43, 43, 45
2.4km: 10:11, 9:40, 9:26m

I NEED 9:14m for a CDO Gold. BMT Gold to us is nothing because it's common. The coveted CDO GOLD NOOO. And yes 12 seconds is THAT hard to achieve but I'll make sure I secure it next time. As will many others. OC was right, perhaps they chose the right people. We're all extremely competitive and determined to be better than others. Uncommon People indeed. Uncommon Place, I've yet to see, except perhaps my first double rainbow experience lol

Heard rumours about POW torture on the last day of field camp. Hopefully it'll not crush us.

Have to work harder. Must get into leaders course. Must get into OCS!

Uncommon People, Uncommon Place.

2010-08-13T21:04:00.000+08:00

It's 6:45PM and I'm leaving in 15 minutes to catch bus number 21 to Pasir Ris Interchange to take the shuttle bus service at 9PM to Pasir Ris Camp.

Week 0, 1 and 2 are over. 7 more weeks remain for BMT. I'm taking BMT at SOTAC/BTW at Pasir Ris Camp, Platoon 4, Detachment 2 of Bravo Company and I must say I'm enjoying the life here. All the hearsay from friends/relatives are either untrue or cease to exist in my camp.

The food's great, training's sound, superiors are never unreasonable, we write journals everynight, talk to our OC every week about what can be improved, get issued vitamins, don't have turn out for our weapons parade, get to have Mach Fusion shavers, get to have our Formation Patch and many more I'd say.

Current goals:
1. Get CDO Gold for IPPT (left my 2.4km run to secure the last point. CDO Gold requires a 2.4km run timing of less than 9:15. My best timing yet and of my whole life of taking NAPFA tests/IPPTs is 9:45.)
2. Be the first in my Platoon to get CDO Gold (3-5 main competitors but I'll push my hardest and try a different stride rate and breathing technique the next IPPT in 2 weeks time)
3. Attain the Marksman badge
4. Complete SOC <8:30 (it's a goal, never tried it yet but it doesn't feel any bit easy, NOT a SINGLE BIT)
5. Leaders Course of course
6. Do my best at all the different categories of competition and training.
7. Push my hardest for trainings
8. Manage my time and memory and decisions better to effectively finish tasks in the shortest time possible.
9. Get to know the little wolf better :)
10. Make sure I'm a happy person.

:D

2010-07-28T19:11:00.002+08:00

It's already Wednesday! One more day left to enjoy my freedom before I get 1 year and 10 months worth of imprisonment! Okay okay, I'm kidding. I'm actually looking forward to it :)

I got the blue plastic Shimano 600 stemcap from Gee Hin Chan for $5. So now I'm a Dura Ace AX stem which I bought for $100 (Total = $140, $40 for shipping) which I'm not going to use. FML SERIOUSLY FML :( Oh well, it is rare so I'd keep it and see if I could make some money from it :)

The Shimano 600 stem would probably come in after I enlist on Friday sooo yea I'd probably miss it.

When I take a glance at it, I feel a sense of satisfaction :) I'll keep every single part of the Shimano 600EX groupset. Probably look out for a seatpost but it's extremely rare.

Went for my last training ride last night. 28.9km/h for 20km. Pushed my hardest already :/

Had Guacamole Bacon Thick Burger from Carls Junior at ECP. Heavenly. For $14.50 I think it's a mad meal. The burger's extremely big and the fries, my oh my, they're effin good I must say. Free flow of drinks, 'nuff said.

:D

5 more days.

2010-07-25T03:41:00.003+08:00

I totally forgot I had to volunteer for Shape Run but came up with an excuse last minute :P I mean I've 5 more days till I leave civilization and come back to visit my homeland every weekend, much like the world of Avatar huh? Only thing is I'm not as big, tall and blue as them nor have the ability to communicate with the vegetation or livestock/creatures.

So I went out for a ride, about 60km? Pushed as hard as I could for the first 40km but only attained an average speed of 28km/h. Cruised the leftover 20km/h to finish with an average of 26.1km/h.

I get asked quite often on what's the fastest way to lose weight or fat. My answer has always been the same, I would still recommend cycling. Time and again, everyone's doubtful of the magic that comes with a bicycle. I would say it's the case because most of the time, they're riding at a leisure pace. If you went for a run, would you "jog" or I should say more specifically have 1 foot on the ground at all times (no flight time). You'd obviously have to push in order to see results. And I guarantee you, pushing on a bike is not an easy feat. Because it's "easier" in the sense that you're on a piece of equipment and it supports your weight on your ass, foot and arms instead of just your 2 feet and a great amount of weight bearing on your poor legs. This would mean if you push hard, you can really concentrate on increasing the intensity and still be able to go for a considerable amount of time, rather than increasing the intensity during a run and only be able to maintain it for 2-3km.

I really admire the cyclists in the Tour de France. They ride up mountains, sprint, battle against the clock, all at crazy speeds. They climb mountains at 20km/h, sprint at 70/80km/h, descend mountains at 80-100km/h, average the flats at 45-km/h and do time trials at 50 +/- 5km/h.

I push my very hardest and I can go on average 30km/h. Can't hold it for more than 30-40km yet they can cycle stages of 200+/-20km, with mountains that go up to an altitude of 2000m above sea level, in the coldest conditions, hottest conditions and most uneven surfaces (cobblestones). No wonder they call it the hardest cycling race in the world. The fastest sprinter, best climber and overall riders are there. World championships or Olympics mean nothing there because it's as good or even better than the Olympics, with distances, altitudes, terrain and weather conditions so extreme, it makes the Olympics look like the YOG.

Lance Armstrong tried his best. He really did, on Stage 16 and I salute him for that. He still can climb mountains. 2 Cat 1 and 2 HC climbs and still in the breakaway :) Kudos to you Armstrong! You're a great inspiration.

Alberto Contador has won this year's Tour de France, 2010. Andy Schleck is in 2nd, 39 seconds behind the Spaniard. Definitely improved from last year where he was over 4 minutes behind Contador.

In 5 days I'll book in to the SOTAC at Pasir Ris. I will set a goal, dog eared in a notebook I shall bring to jot down special scenarios/situations/memories. I've the worse memory and I hope this wouldn't affect me in army, I really do. I'll push my hardest, give my all. If I make it, I do. If not? Then I've tried.

I look up to my whiteboard and see the goals I set for the end of my term at RP. I managed to achieve them all. Can I make this one goal materialize? I'll have to wait for 9 weeks to know the answer.

Will I relax and enjoy before I get my ass in? Yes and no, I will try to relax and go out with friends but I will not overdo it. No overindulging because I need to keep my weight down. I've more goals for my physical performance/fitness so that aspect has to be taken care of meticulously.

What I love about cycling?
1. The speed
2. The way it melts away fat from the waist down so quickly (overall body fat has yet to drop to a significant level so I'll wait and see)
3. The machine that is the bicycle :)

pssst.

2010-07-21T20:54:00.001+08:00

I'm contemplating of getting the Shimano PD-6207. I'll have a full Shimano 600 bike then (excluding the seatpost because my legs are a little longer for the 200mm posts).

$110. Shit Noooo

My time has come.

2010-07-21T03:17:00.003+08:00

Just came back from a cycle to Changi Village and back, 60km at an average of 25km/h.

My two sisters have set off to Switzerland, Cheryl going for a week and Christine going for a month to France, the UK and the USA. I'll be enlisting next Friday into the camp I've hoped of getting into. No ferry rides for me :)

So I came back home, turned on this filament light bulb that glows an "old" yellowy orange. I looked around and a feeling of sadness dawned upon me. Dad's at work so it's only Mom and I who's at home and soon I'll be gone for about a week or two before I can book out. I imagined what it'd be like for my parents, and I finally realize that life to them has always been about us. Even through the endless quarrels, disagreements, squabbles, shouting and beatings, I think they do it because they just want the best for us. Dad's getting old, he's 60+ and he's finally showing his soft side. When we were kids, we never dared ask him for much because we know what he'll agree or disagree to. It's that simple, there's no 2 ways about things. But I suppose after these years he has softened. I do feel bad when I show my temper and he doesn't scold me anymore. I'll love my parents for as long as I live :) We might not have led the most comfortable life but we sure have enjoyed the openess we have with each other.

I remember when I was a kid, I always had one thing on my mind. I always wondered what I'd be doing in future. What am I doing now in this thing called "school" that will help me decide on what I'd work or do in future.

Now I still speak the same, always trying to sound "right" and always trying to be "right" on everything. I still have the die-hard attitude in whatever that I do and of course try and be as technical about things as I possibly can.

I've had my fair share of experiences, good and bad and I must say after 21 years I think I've improved along the way and can safely say I always "update" my software after every bug or failure.

:) I might have spent alot of money but I hope I'll save up and study in Australia once I'm done with army, with perhaps a year of working and saving up? Muse Inc maybe? I'll post pictures up of my bike once it's done.

I'll give my all in everything that I do and hope for the best. If it doesn't come through, then it doesn't.

Current goal from next Friday onwards: Aim to be an officer. OCS's the top objective for now. May I work hard and do my best for it. If I don't make the cut then so be it :)

But Felix never gives up without a fight.

...

2010-07-18T15:32:00.003+08:00

so K gave me a bunch of stuff on my last day. rly sweet but the cologne's just so little india.

CKIN2U POP isn't my thing. It smells like sandlewood, spice-y and just very indian-ish. Not that it's a bad thing of course, but it's not for me.

I went to immerse myself in the RP Polo Black that I got awhile back. Still lovin' it. As much as it's musky for a masculine feel, it has a certain sweetness that eases the musky feel out. Mmm mmm mmm got to be my favorite.

I think D Cool Water's extremely refreshing in a plain watery way (I'm not kidding LOL it really does have a neutral refreshing smell).

Viva La Juicy's simple, it's like they made crushed the tropics and made it into a perfume. Very sweet in a fruity way. I'd reckon they called it juicy because it actually packs a punch which to some might seem to be overwhelming. Imagine having tropical fruits thrown right in your face. Hmmm basenotes reviews say otherwise, I think it's very pineapplish, very much like a perfume made from pina coloda. Fun stuff.

And no I'm not one who compliments things because I owe it to others if 1. They buy/gift me perfumes or 2. I buy/gift them to others.

Deep Blue from Sharleen's no match for RP Polo Black. Incanto from S, SF's the softer version of CKIN2U.

Gucci Rush? Pure sex. Literally :P

Hmmm

2010-07-17T00:10:00.002+08:00

As much as my memory isn't very good, meaning I can't consciously remember stuff on my own, I still can bring myself to a scenario/memory if I'm reminded of something :)

Met up with Dorcia on Tuesday to have dinner at EWF and dessert at HD (currently my fav, even after trying Azabu Sabo, $1 ice cream, Turkish Ice Cream and HD at Clark Quay during the SRF 2010).

I've always had this concept of mine, that generally people tend to protect themselves from others as they have more experience with relationships. If it's with an s and has to do with experience then it means relationships that have failed. And I'm going to stress this, I say GENERALLY. Don't go oh but but but. Even if you fell into the category you'd probably not admit it either. We all want to feel good about ourselves. It's only human.

Haha so Dorcia told me about what we were like and stuffs that we did before. Really cute I must say, it's things that I'll never do for anyone, specific things because I'm not 15 anymore and as we age and pursue say people of our age etc, it's just not accepted or right to do certain things. And as we grow up everyone starts telling us what's not "right" to do and all the things that make us "mature". Not that it doesn't help us but it brings away the naively fun we all have :P

Thanks for the shirt D :) rlyyy nice. Considering I never buy any clothes, you're my savior :D I've decided to save up from now on so I'd probably not go to Melbourne for a holiday after BMT? UNLESS my parents sponsor my flight etc of course, then I wouldn't mind. And hopefully I won't have free time after BMT, :P I'm just going to try and see if I can get it. If not then I'll just be whatever they think I can be. PLEAAASE MAKE ME AN OFFICER hahaha.

Yawns.

The speedometer has made me tired because now I can track my speed and my mind's bent on maintaining the highest possible speed at a healthy pace. Lovely. I can feel my legs working like crazy :)

I'll post pics of the headset and stem once they're all in :)

Reflection

2010-07-16T23:50:00.002+08:00

I'm 21 years old for about 3 months now and I went to reflect on my actions/decisions.

I don't know what came into me? I might actually know. I think I've a weakness that makes me concentrate on only one particular goal that I tend to forget the bigger picture.

I remember months ago when I was working for RP, when we received the first batch of data to reduce/treat. I had only one goal. The goal's to save up money for further studies because I know my parents don't have the means to send me to university and I don't have a scholarship available.

My goal was not to spend below every thousand I earn. I did start to get "bike curious" with the purchase of our cycling helmet and airhorn. Then I got 2nd hand MTB cycling shoes, MTC clipless pedals and I'd cycle to RP for work.

I managed to save a thousand dollars after the first pay check but I got into an accident and I had to pay for the hospital bills which crushed my goal. I spent below the thousand dollar mark. For others it's a "aiya or else don't pay and die meh?" thing but for me, as much as it was required, it did break my mark and after that I started spending more.

I managed to negotiate $200 more from $1800 for the claims. I worked for RP for another month. Overall the picture's this

approx $1300 from RP
$2000 from accident claims
$1500 for MInc's first 2 weeks
$800 for MInc's second 2 weeks
probably $200 from Ann

I used to record my expenditure but ever since my MWG Zinc II broke down along with the lack of the ability to remember most of what I spend, $ just flies. The major spends I do remember of course

Now I'm left with $350.

I could have easily saved $5000 and proved to my parents that it's possible to save up and get myself to university. Instead the moment I started working, mixing with people, going to live my ideal lifestyle, everything crashed.

I told Dad I'll not be collecting allowance anymore, I'm 21 right, I should be more independent. I said more not 100% so he pays for my basic phone bill :P

The more I think about it the more I feel I'm becoming like him. My goal's to study hard, work hard and live comfortably but it seems I need to be more disciplined.

I'm already 21 years old. I don't have long before I turn 30 and everything will dawn upon me. My live will be judged and I don't want to have fancy stuff without a career, family or just a partner.

Grow up now Felix. Now I've a vintage steel Japanese Road Bike with a full Shimano 600 groupset including headset and stem. I'll stop there. I'll probably never get a racer. I'll stick to this and make it work for the money I've spent on it.

At long last.

2010-07-10T20:05:00.003+08:00

My project to restore the japanese bike and components is finally complete.

Tange (Japanese) Chromoly Frame and Fork.

Shimano 600 groupset.

The mechanic at Gee Hin Chan, an old man who doesn't speak much english praised the Shimano 600 components on its beauty, performance and rarity :)

:) happy night

2010-07-04T11:15:00.002+08:00

Last night was the best night I ever had.

1. Met D. K was right. I was impressed, she's tall, very pretty and dresses up so well. Sadly I was very tipsy so I didn't talk much to her. I always do something I regret. Not making an important move will jeopardise my life. :O I'm contemplating on asking D out on Monday when I drop by their office.

2. Free flow, VIP at SRF 2010 Closing Party. Doesn't get any better for me. Fashion show was awesome.

3. Only thing that sucked was K's mood. He says everyone thought I was bi just because F sat on my thigh (he said lap, I'm like dude, he just sat on my thigh). He went all depressing on me and blaming me for doing this and that etc. I'm like wtf man?

4. Bought a pair of SIDI Zeta cycling shoes and got a Shimano R540 clipless road pedal for free.

The real deal.

2010-07-03T06:50:00.002+08:00

I shall buy the Shimano 600 EX BB-6207 (Bottom Bracket) and Shimano 600 EX HP-6200 (Headset) so my vintage road bike will now have 100% Japanese parts.

I've a SR (Sakae/Ringo) Stem from Japan too :P

Complete set of
Hubs - HB-6207
Brake Levers - BL-6207
Brake Calipers - BR-6207
Shifters - SL-6200
Front Derailleur -FD-6200
Rear Derailleur - RD-6200
Bottom Bracket - BB-6207
Headset - HP-6200
Crankset - FC-6200

Chain (Uniglide)
Cogset

i was right!

2010-07-01T21:20:00.004+08:00

hahaha my gut feeling's hardly ever wrong. once again I was right about something!

rmb I said I was creeped out when I ran an errand down to A PR W?

turns out K wants to introduce me to D. I can't rmb if i met her or not because my memory seriously fail.

sooo this Saturday, we're holding the closing party for SRF 2010. there'll even be a fashion show going on. free flow of drinks for VIPs, obviously the organizers are VIPs too :P

sooo K wants me to meet D this Saturday because they're the PR guys or shall I say babes? ALL OF THEM are women :O sooo I'm thinking of what I should wear :X

hmmm let's see if this one works out.

here we go again :)

K says she's really pretty. and when K says something that seriously, I think I'll trust him. I just hope he's not saying it out of sympathy or I'll be disappointed.

Dazzle me.

3 more parties before NS. Only 3.

1. This Sat, SRF 2010 Closing Party
2. SRF 2010 Post-Show Party (For performers, cast, crew etc)
3. Try and being RP family down to Om bar and let Danny fuck with their minds.

:)

2010-07-01T00:21:00.002+08:00

Bike is 99% ready. Picking up tomorrow. Paying $149. I hope it's all I'll be spending.

Damage

400 for bike and parts
350 for sandblasting/powder coating
150 for maintanance and getting little things like handle bar tape, servicing, new chain, new stem etc
100 for vintage Shimano 600 EX 6200 Crankset
a good 200 on misc items.

$1.2k spent.

general overview
1. Bought a taiwanese bike with mixed shimano parts for $190. Bought derailleurs, changed cables, new seat post for about 90 bucks. Sold for $225
2. Bought a vintage Viner with shimano 105s for $550. Bought new seat post for $30. Sold for $900 ( Profit of about $300? Net profit about $200 considering I lost money for the first bike.)
3. Bought a vintage Yamaguchi Sports Frame, Sakai, Japan with a 90% Shimano 600 groupset and vintage Shimano 105 Golden Arrow Crankset for $400.
4. Bought alot of stuff for maintainance
-Selley's RP7
-Microfibre Cloth
-Nxt Generation All Metal Polish
-Rustoleum Rust Stripper
-Krud Kutter Rust Remover and Inhibitor
-Degreaser

I'm a big fan of 2nd hand stuff. My
1. Bike is 2nd hand
2. Groupset is 2nd hand
3. Shimano MTB shoes and cleats are 2nd hand
4. Dia Compe Gran Compe White Leather Saddle is 2nd hand
5. Shimano 600 EX 6200 is 2nd hand

Spend a good $1000 +/- $300?

But I know it'll last forever.

Tange (Japanese) Steel Frame + Shimano 600 (Ultegra of the 1970-80s) will last a lifetime. Pass down to me kids in future.

Restore Mongoose IBOC Series Sport after army. Dad passed it down to me. Great bike :)

pissed.

2010-06-29T00:13:00.003+08:00

found out K fcking lied to me all this while.

R's not married, he doesn't have kids. He's got a bf and I knew that too but I trusted all of them :/ argh.

fuck fuck fuck. you're putting me in a fucking spot. you wanna just drop everything and not be nice just because i don't want anything more? if you become unprofessional i'll quit okay.

lol why don't i have girls chasing after me? oh right because of the unwritten rules of society.

:/

2010-06-28T23:18:00.004+08:00

i feel like crying.

can i has cookie?

my mind just goes on and on, it's tiring me out.

sure there's work, there's restoring bike but when everything's over, i think and think and think.

:'(

K said being with me is like the show 50 first dates because my memory's rly bad. I always get excited/animated/eager over almost anything because I find alot of things fresh and interesting? I hardly find things boring.

But it isn't fun because I do it all alone.

I need a cookie.

I don't want money or certificates or many friends.

I just want to have someone to care for or be cared by? The lonliness is killing me :/

I can do anything and everything but time's passing so slowly. Please pass a little faster?

:/

2010-06-28T23:18:00.001+08:00

happy.

2010-06-28T19:50:00.001+08:00

monies make me very happy.
13 days - $1150.
kaching. beats rp anytime.

Once crankset's in I'll get the whole bike together and wow you.

Black/Orange/White for brake cables?

what the fuck?

2010-06-28T02:42:00.003+08:00

552 for just 4 fucking days? wait till i add the rest.

2 weeks . . . hmmm.

yum yum yum.

SRF 2010's over though. No more big events except World Expo in Shanghai.

So it's back to office work again :)

:(

2010-06-28T00:09:00.003+08:00

sigh. everyone's gone now.

BUT I'll . . .

1. Catch Fried Rice Paradise. A muscial by Dick Lee, some of the cast for SRF 2010 will be performing :) I'll catch them on the weekends when I book out, I promise k F :P

2. Found out B's married with an 18 month old daughter -.-" So yes, she might look and sound 18, she's a mother. I'm not into MILFS, not yet anyway -.-"

3. Found out X's name. It's I. Asked it during the last show, only chance I could make convo without 101 people surrounding her. She's attached though :/. Cute couple awww. Yea I'm not out to always get girls. Just eye candy for SRF 2010 that's all hehe. OH she's TALL. Like a good 170-173 :O dayummm. But she's sooo sweet, looks so innocent luh lol. child much. Oh wow she's friends with Cheryl too. Let's seeee who'll be my next victim lol

4. Feeling a little sad now that everything's over. Rehearsals to 1-2 am. 6 shows. Lots of panicking, shouting and running around etc.

Oh wow. S (big boss) wants to pay me to put together a vintage bike :O

dayum :/

2010-06-26T23:48:00.002+08:00

haha my days are always quite fun so here goes nth.

1. F started asked me a general question regarding the performance. Yada yada then he suddenly asked me something. Are you g, s or b? I'm like, I'm sure I'm s right now. Straight as a door nail. Do I give off a g vibe? :/

2. Now EVERYONE KNOWS R HAS BEEN DISTURBING ME EVERY WORKING MOMENT!!! Made a big mistake. A lady and a kid came by to say hi to R and I thought it was his mum or sis because he sounds so bullshitting when he says he's married and has children (on top of the fact that K said everyone's gay so I thought R was too). Turns out (IF K isn't pakat-ing with them to make me look dumb luh) R is married and have 2 kids (pics of them on the office wall). Sooo freaking adorable omg omg omg.

3. B's headgear had some problems. Beads falling off, cotton coming off, helmet coming off so I'm nice and helped her fix it etc etc. Suddenly K comes and says what's gng on, everyone thinks B and I are having something going on. I told K, B has a super high pitched voice, rly cute but she's not my type luh duh. I said there's someone else I like but I'm not saying. No I've an ego so I won't want someone to help me get to know a person if I rly wanted to.

Plan's this, i don't care. Tmr I'm asking for her name and I'll fb, msn then get her number. Asking for her number's too obvious already! I wanted a picture with her but obviously everyone'd suspect so I said can I have a picture with ALL (fire artistes and X) of you but X ended up taking the picture. WTF RIGHT? I was like okay smile and get it over with -.-"

She's so sweet and . . . hot/fit. I'm like :O srsly. She sounds rly nice and sweet too :) Best evarrr

4. K asked me out again. I think it's something like me asking T out. She doesn't wanna go out, just like how I'm being my nicest and come up with excuses on why I can't make it. But srsly, I'm polishing my Shimano 600 EX Groupset tonight so I'm busy right :D

I WANT TO HAS X'S NAME. NOOO.

:/

:/

2010-06-26T06:18:00.002+08:00

i love meeting new people and gaining perspective on life but

sigh i don't like to get rly close with everyone then disappear when everything's over.

everyone's rly great but after Sunday it'll be dead.

whatever, i shall enjoy all the company while it lasts :D

2010-06-26T05:28:00.006+08:00

Can you see his fucking huge flame?

Whatever I could get on video. Before and after the court dancers/chinese costumes which I've to help out with anddd I'm on Read Bridge itself so I can't get much. Srsly when I could see the performance during rehearsals, I was blown away. It's a must watch :)

3 Fire Artistes from Born Fire's in the vid. K's there. D did breathe fire, with kerosene in his mouth. So many more exciting stuff not caught on cam, arghhh. The first time I saw it, I'm like THEFUCK full dress rehearsals no has? Suddenly fireee hahaha nice. They can eat fire too but it's not required in this performance :X

X's there too :P Go figure. :D :D :D

I srsly adoreee people with great smilesss. Oh nooooooo I hope no one catches me eyeing her.

srsly argh, i can find everyone one fb except for her. arghhh.

totally unrelated. K K's gotten alot bigger since the last time I knew her! Full-time model now I think? Wowww. Yea my self-esteem/confidence isn't big/strong/sturdy enough to go for something like that. I'll grow, slowly and someday I'll have someone who's rly awesome too :)

awww

2010-06-26T00:43:00.001+08:00

K went from rsp to single.

he says it is better to have loved and lost than not to have loved at all. me likey likey.

:D i cannot have a wider, happier smile

2010-06-26T00:01:00.002+08:00

wow. hahaha i wow alot these days. in no order of importance

1. monies. 2 weeks, 900-950 cash. $ is quite sensitive so i didn't ask the bosses. asked K if they minus 1 hour for lunch, K said S and R are never picky when it comes to pay. evidenced by F, he said M I are one of the best paymasters (any idea what that means? but yea i think it means big fat pay check yooo). I might consider continuing after S*F 2010 until say a week before army, so about 23rd of July i'll stop working?

it's rly quite amazing. i bumped into K outside of orange julius at borders together with another K, keagan kang. said hi. omw to work for Ann, pun*h events for Carlsberg World Cup 2010.

K suddenly smsed me to ask if i'd work for M I for 3 weeks and i just said sure i'll do my best and see if i'm up to your standards. 2 weeks on and i can choose to continue working at M I. pay's great, great team . . .

St*n
R*m*s
K*nn*th
L*sl*y
Felix or Me.

We're all sooo nice people I don't even know what to say. I cab 90% of the time because I can claim and I never have to worry about anything :O today I reached office at 1130 and I was alr panicking. turns out I was there first! HAHAHA so much for thinking of an excuse if S and R were already there :P

L and K knows R's been teasing me ALOT this few days hahaha. the thing's this. I'm 99% sure R's g but I saw a pic of R and a lady in a wedding like shoot so there's a 1% chance he's rly married. So I ask him and he jokes about being married with a son and daughter (totally not true, but he's still onto this joke, a little dry already but cute nonetheless).

R and S . . . srsly the best boss/employers ever. They're like my close friends yet we work rly srsly when the time comes.

I've met sooo many people through this event. Wow. I don't even know where to start. Highlights?

G (i didn't get his name) is a fire artist, one of the fire guys for this event. He's a magician too and he wowed everyone with 2 tricks. I'm not easy to impress because if it's those stupid lame common tricks I'm like yea I've seen it 1000 times over. But his trick's sooo original and it blew everyone (chloe and sue had the most animated reactions btw) and was like WOAH.

2. Made conversation with X (cin's helper), X because I rly don't know her name. She's rlyyy sweet, awww. Plan's this. S*F 2010 will have a closing party. 500 pax :O planned by K? or an official planner of sorts. IF and ONLY IF X goes to the party, will I ask her out for dinner. AFTER I do a discrete do you have a boyfriend thing by going, oh you did you ask your bf to the party or sthhh la i'll think of sth later.

I think she has great features. idk. My taste's always very . . . genuine, very wholesome or subjective. I don't have a oh she's this then she's gg. Somehow I look at a person as a whole and more or less I'd know whether it's worth a shot. idk. I may just be bullshitting but yea.

3. J, F, F, B, S and i forgot the last girl's name. They're great to work with :) stress at times but rly awesome. Fa**z was one of the judges at Play's dance competition, I was thr, but of course I didn't know him until S*F 2010/. If I clubbed, I think I wouldn't need to pay alot anymore from the contacts I slowly gain with everything I do. hahaha

4. Wow. S*F 2010 is rly something. Not just because I'm working for M I so I'd say it's awesome. I'm *** things so it's kept 100% private so I've nothing to promote but if you need to relieve stress, need to see fireworks, aerial performers, aerial acrobats, a unique stage performance or fire artists, then come down this sat (tmr) and sun at 730pm and 10pm to see our show. S planned the general feel, R did the artwork/design/costumes so . . . it's just too impressive. I feel like a kid, laughing, having this tingly feeling when I see the pyrotechnics go off. It's just gives me a happy feeling like no other.

I shall clock more hours to get a big fat paycheck. Going to office at 10am tmr hehe.

I think more or less K has got the hint.

5. Big realization. And reassurance. I can do anything, anytime, anywhere as long as I want to.

I love to want people to want to want me.

I'll make you feel special

I'll make you feel loved

I'll make you feel important

That's the power of How to make friends and influence people.

This however, doesn't mean that my actions aren't genuine.

I will do anything for anyone. Within my moral values of course.

That's the power of determination.

:D:D:D

2010-06-24T22:18:00.001+08:00

I HAS MONIES NEXT WEEK! PLEEEAAASSSEEE . . .

I'll beg R to write me the cheque. He'll not say no :X

borrred.

2010-06-24T21:55:00.004+08:00

media preview.

superb. everything went as plan except for a screw up by again, a fat person. srsly what's up with that?

we were super on today, ready by 630 so I was like i'm borrred? so i was again . . . laughed at and sent to get dinner lol?

back home at 10pm. rly bored.

srsly i need to constantly be entertained or be doing sth or i'll just die. :O

crushes have reduced to a more realistic feel. prolly only cin's helper catches my attention. cin's helper's like woah, like . . . tall, fit (muscley for a girl), hottt and rly sweet? idk :X M^2 out of the list. eww

RRR isss grrr lol an ass hahaha in a kiddly manner. wow he actually designed each and every one of the costumes used for S*F 2010. Any advert/banner design all done by him! :O R and I could even be like Indy and I :O

Next week on, S*F 2010's over, training resumes. I must say the amount of errands/running/walking/carrying/rushing I do really keeps my body working. Core's hardening ovetime, the rest's maintained because of all the stuff I've to carry hahaha :D

i think my waist's a 29 now? 28 sounds too small. but 30's loose so idk?

hownow?

2010-06-24T04:52:00.003+08:00

just got back home, bathed. it's 5am. i've to meet helium balloon dude at timbre at 930am. :/

breakout. lack of sleep? stress from work? yawns. ugly.

for the next 3 days, i'll have no life. live and breathe Singapore River Festival 2010.

i should get a pedometer and see how much i walk everyday. my left calf is aching alr :O

i'm so tired and sleepy i have to blog because i need to work my memory. and it's serious, i don't say oh i've a bad memory to act dumb or put myself down so people would say nonono, i rly has serious stm.

today . . .

first mysterious happening. went to a pr w in the rain with some stuff to pass over to the pr company. 1. ALL the employees were females :O feminists much? 2. All was like oh are you the new intern? I've heard alot about you. I was like haha i'm sure you have. . . must be R or K cfm one. 3. I actually felt quite creeped out for awhile so I left asap. Fun but creepy.

M^2 used to work for M**e In* too. She's rly nice, sweet and kinda hot? And R agrees she "settled" HAHAHA I actually told R like what's she doing w this guy and he agreeeed. idk? maybe he's got a big junk? or account? or he's rly nice or sth la huh, give people the benefit of the doubt.

hohoho. R has been sooo crappy lately. i see his true colors now, keeeeps shitting me luh. but rly, i can never bring myself gay. i mean i don't think it's wrong, but it's not for me. i do find R rly cute, he's succch a girl imho of course. and i think . . . ahaha so dangerous, if they ever find out my blog i'd just not turn up for work i tell you. i think K might be jealous R and I are so kiddish lolol i'm a big kid, no kid. i've known K for a good 3 years but yea maybe . . . physically not appealing (not that i'm all that good but yea just giving my humble opinion) and he's uncomfortably close. i nooo like.

and no i has no thoughts about being g*y. :X i has a crush on cin's helper, australian performer's minder, court dancer, M^2, a pr w's employee, a dancer and a small one for the ballerina. hahaha. RLY CAN'T HELP IT. THEY'RE NICE, HOT/PRETTY/SWEET and they're babes. what can I do right? hahahahahahahha i neeeeeeeeeeeeeeed company. damnnn.

wanna hear my stm encounter? i bought toilet rolls, then to GNC to get R's supplements, left toilet roll there. I went to chinese medicine hall to get K a drink, then I left GNC supps at medicine hall. went back to GNC, back to office, to realize R's supps are missing, went to med hall to collect. I swear, all laughed at my stm-ness. and it wasn't funny to me :(

Full dress rehearsal for S*F20*0 was great! S has high standards so it didn't make the cut, i'm sure it'd be great tmr. Media preview tmr . . . international (from Marina Bay S*nds) and local media's gna be thr. IF YOU FUCK IT UP AGAIN I SHALL BURN YOU AND HATE FAT PEOPLE FOR THE REST OF MYLIFE YOU SLUT.

might work till army (discussed with R, if I can juggle work and training after S*F 2*10, then I'll continue) but that's tentative. after this is Expo @ Shanghai, Singapore Pavillion as well as URA's booth or sth. LONG DAY TMR. OH FUCK NO.

BUT more hours = more monies. nias.

:O

2010-06-23T02:14:00.002+08:00

wow okay i've sooo much to talk abouttt! too excited probably the most exciting day of my life.

SUPER DUPER HAPPY NOOO!

okay first up, work's going great :) Expo stuff settled for now, Mal's to drop passport asap, return Desmond passport asap. SRF's building up momentum really fast. by chronological order la hor . . .

1 Received my reddish orangey powder coated (after sandblasting of course, oh 150 for sandblasting, 200 for coating) frame and fork. I was tied up with work so I didn't have time to go :O THE FUCK. but yea even if I had time, work's work so yea. I misread an email so paid Lawrence 250 only, transferred 100 later and apologized like mad. srsly I thought it was only 250 lolol

2. SRF's 2nd Rehearsal (didn't attend the first because I had other things to do but 2nd one had costumes on). I'm not one who has time to appreciate arts, performing arts to be exact and today, though it was the 2nd rehearsal, had costumes and they were rigged up the wires. I went :O the whole time. S, the artistic director and R the creative director did helluva job with the concept and planning, designing, I went thefuck all the time. Srsly if you guys have time, do go down to the Singapore River Festival 2010 (I talk as if my blog's public, but yea just saying, it's that good). Saw "AIR" for the first time (AIR's our aerial performance, acrobats/perfomers rigged over the river with scaffolding and wires. Just . . . amazing. It's like . . . and you know me, when I go gaga over something, it's that good. Right? The stage performance was awesome too. Omg sooo many eyecandy, crap la, ws knows me, I rly shouldn't stare and I'm trying not to. They're tall, pretty, hot, fit, rly nice and talented. Tafak man. The australian acrobats . . . nth to say. They're as or even more muscular than I am :O :O :O

3. Something happened. I can't say even if it's not a public blog but yea. I was prepared to do sth but thankfully D took the initiative. Srsly P, go fucking take your bm again la okay. Fuck your protocol because the casualty's conscious, less than 5m away, what the fuck protocol do you fucking need. You've the poor girl fucking scared shitz. Useless piece of fat fuck you are indeed. Lose weight and retake LS 123 before BM please? Fuck you srsly.

4. Proud to be working for Muse Inc :)

5. I went to deposit money so I can transfer ws money for helping me pay for my S600 crankset because the cheque only goes through at 2pm? This dude saw my frame and went :O. Yea bike-curious or bike lovers would know, a vintage Japanese aerodynamic-styled tange steel frame is yummy. Told him I've a full Shimano 600 Groupset and he went :O again, said it'd last a lifetime. I'm considering of anodizing it gold. I don't plan to sell it. Srsly it'd be a possession that I'd pass down to my children if they can appreciate it. Annodize alu and chrome steel?

When i hold you, I just go . . . hell yea. I don't bother about the past, rust, faded decals. It looks as good as new and that's all that matters. It's tange steel, would outlive me if I don't get crushed at 80km/h by a 40ft container driver la.

Fuck me sideways. Too happy. I'll post pics up soon :)

sigh

2010-06-22T01:39:00.002+08:00

I'm disappointed with myself. I should have followed the directions carefully.

Each time it happens, I improve, but still . . . I make mistakes.

I suppose experience is important huh?

I tried cleaning the Mongoose months ago but it turned out to be rather disastrous. The brakes were really old so when I removed it, it broke and couldn't be used anymore.

This time round, everything went quite alright. Only parts where I screwed up were the gear cables. I managed to remove everything without fucking anything up.

When it came to rust removing/polishing. First time, so I didn't follow the instructions carefully. Happily soaked them stuff for a good 10-12 hrs.

Fucked the aluminium parts up.

Sigh

I hope the sandblasting and powder coating went well.

Only thing I'm happy about is acquiring a Dia Compe Gran Compe Leather Saddle (White), 2nd hand so there's a little bit of wear but it's in excellent condition. Got it for $50. These retail for a good $180.

$250 for sandblasting + powder coating.

I feel useless because I fucked up the Shimano 600 Groupset. :(

Sigh.

I'll just put in on and see how it goes.

I've lost the hype. :(

fml

:O

2010-06-21T06:08:00.003+08:00

I've realized I'm a sucker for . . .

-all things vintage/classic (idk about retro, depends on the definition?)
-a great smile (faints, just saw J's, C and XT's friend, straightest/whitest pair of jaws ever?)
-hot legs (the true test of overall body fat, HAHAHA not being objective but heck I'm not gna post it in the Journals or sth)
-tech
-machines
-anything with moving parts
-the opposite sex
-great company (company that can talk on and on and on and on and do practically ANYTHING. so far only Indy fulfills this criteria)
-tall people (not taller than I am :X ego maniac huh)
-people who are punctual (I don't blame or get mad angry when people turn up late but I go . . . arghhh time's passing so slow, solitaireee. but yes, i might not say it but please fucking be on time?)
-Tobacco :)
-Exercise
-Sports Science
-Science
-Philosophy
-Sex
-All things physical
-Work

This would sum me up
-I'll do practically anything for something I really value. If you see me doing something, I'm already doing everything I can. Most of the time :X Actually, all the time. Because even if I make a bad decision (like choosing to fuck up my Year 1), I actually gave my all at China One :)

I'm a robot, make me tick or I'll rust.

:/

2010-06-21T00:48:00.002+08:00

cont'd. K creeps me out at times. R is sooo nice, I think he's passive. only 2-3 people can view my blog so yea, I really hope they never get to see this hahaha.

I's experiences really makes me go wow, Singapore is actually quite happening y'knw.

Bought 25.90 Rust Remover, AGAIN they say it works wonders. Will see

... cute/hot/pretty performers but yea they're the performers -.-" hahaha

I think SRF 2010's gonna be a blast :D

:/

2010-06-20T23:27:00.002+08:00

Met up with Indy on Friday. Watched Nightmare on Elm's Street :O Honestly, it was rather frightening! Everyone around me's finding their "One"! Indy's going on about his new boyfriend V, hope he means what he says :) R's so loveydovey with bf too. grrr my love, my vintage bike's not done so I'm soooo bored and lonely :/ more work pls?

...

2010-06-20T11:15:00.001+08:00

i've explained myself countless of times.

don't even try please.

i rike girls 4eva. sorry.

bored.

2010-06-19T23:07:00.002+08:00

wow rly bored. can i has 7 days work week please?

hahaha i always have crazy random thought.

current crazy random thought . . . after srf, if i decide to continue working for m i, we go shanghai world expo (swe) pls? hahaha thanks to b who put it in me head.

yawns. settling paperwork for 4 performers to be sent to shanghai for the 2nd leg of swe.

working tomorrow. yesssa, 12/h smells good.

deew tmr? idk? but what i know is i'll be 100% firm. respect. and i shall respect you.

smiley again? :)

2010-06-19T04:42:00.003+08:00

first week of work.

fun. tiring at times but it's because i choose to make it tiring, walking fast, rushing out to ensure things get done earlier etc.

man crush on one of my bosses. fit, good looking, nice, talented (artist, paints, designs costumes, designs all things design, photography), wow, salute really.

going to have a hot pink (if they offer the color) or hot orange (confirm available) road bike soon. buying evaporust from amazon? OR Formula 1132 from industrial shop ($75 for 25l) I DON'T NEED TWENTY FIVE LITRES BUT THEY DON'T SELL THEM IN SMALL AMOUNTS ARGH. getting my vintage shimano 600 arabesque crankset (provided I don't get outbidded).

i suppose she's at the back of my head just because i've no one i'm after now. it's like i have to have someone or i'm not satisfied :/

swim 5km tmr? i hope so.

lbs to remove crankset/bb and rear d (don't has a chain breaker). then to tuas to pass them my bike for sandblasting and powder coating on monday :):):) HAPPY OMG OMG OMG I CAN'T WAIT FOR THE NEW BIKE!

I CAN'T WAIT AHAHAHAHA

2010-06-17T07:24:00.002+08:00

I really can't wait for time to pass. I want to do so many things.

Of all,

1. Achieve a decent level of competitive fitness
2. Join endurance races or achieve my dream goals like scaling the French Alps or trying out a half-Ironman first.
3. To do research (got to spend time to write my essay fast and see how I could get into NTU. tbh I wouldn't mind saving and heading over to UQ if it's such a fuss. I know I can do it, but if you want to base things all on my past then it's your loss not mine)
4. Earn lots of monies

:D

2010-06-16T23:35:00.003+08:00

I don't know why, how or what is happening to me. Everything's going my way.

1. Intern at Muse Inc. 8/h, 12/h OT, 12/h WE.
2. Got the perfect bike (57cm vintage japanese steel road bike with full Shimano 600 components, except for cranks which are vintage Shimano 105 crank arms)
3. Training regularly (if work permits) with Chef Christophe Megel. I still am a little starstruck. He was the one who came to Singapore to open the Ritz Carlton restaurant, he helped Alain Ducasse in his younger days and many more but now he's the CEO of Sunrice GlobalChef Academy.
Full Profile here: (BE AMAZED)
http://www.wacs2000.org/pdf/Profile_Christophe_Megel.pdf

Although I must admit, I have little time to swim, run or tabata, cycling with Christophe is real business. my core ached 15 km into the night. It ached in a good way, like fatiguing. I was like wow, great core training, mid-section feels tight woohoo

4. Colleagues at Muse Inc., BEST EVER. No kidding, maybe it's because it's only the 5 of us everyday, one other guy is in Shanghai for the Expo. Oh did I say, Muse Inc is running all the performances at the Singapore site at the Expo :X One of my bosses is SUPER talented and STYLISH TOO hahaha. Good looking too luh.
5. I keep thinking and I couldn't figure out why I was bummed by the whole Tessa thing. I've come to realize that every happens in my life for a reason. My GPA of 0 and me pulling it up and having Shige and the 2 FYPs and all the experience. They never just came like that, life knows how to work round me. It knows I can grasp the moral of each lesson and develop and improve my character and understanding of life.

No the lesson isn't to take things lightly because I know I'm passionate and give my all. The lesson is to be able to understand the situation the person is in, rationalize the feeling, especially when I know what it's like and understand. Like understand understand not just like oh yea I understand. Then it'll just slowly dissipate like it already is now.

I realized me being very aware of my surroundings helped me even when I was high. I managed to think of what was going on, how I lost control of my thoughts, how my muscles twitched according to what I was thinking of doing (feels like you're doing it there and then) but probably the stimulus wasn't strong enough to make me actually make functional movements. Scary but bearable. And I was supposed to mix it not have it on it's own. hahaha. :D 2nd try this weekend ohhh boy :) the pros will teach me.

ha.

2010-06-16T14:57:00.002+08:00

oh boy, the way our minds work :)

:O

2010-06-16T13:45:00.003+08:00

No freaking way.

You know what they say, never say never.

And when you finally do it, there's no turning back.

Or is there?

I must discipline myself or should I go we live once so enjoy life as it is?

We're staying at a hotel after the event and there's an offer to do some stuff. OH NO HAHAHA.

hmmm

2010-06-16T05:26:00.003+08:00

the theoretical future feels present and present feels like the past. muslces are mildly activated to do the theoretical future's bidding and present will be shifts back to reality, hence it's like going back to the past.

i was thinking about the feeling, extremely interesting results. you feel as if everyone's evil and out to get you. you lose minor control over your muscles, having them mildly activated as if it were the theoretical future playing out in your head.

as you move from one position to another, have light shine in your eyes or anything that would be an added or new stimuli, it seems to snap one back to reality for a brief moment then get lost in a void. having little memory if the immediate happenings and confusing because the present and theoretical future fight for a place in history.

now i know why people can do crazy things. you can if you've no control.

wow

2010-06-13T03:32:00.002+08:00

From $2000 to $50 in my bank. I now have $500+ in credit and a temp job and events. Whew.

I have this A4 size poster on my wall saying "Money Grows on Trees".

I put people before material things. Rightly so, because money can always be earned as long as you're willing to work hard for it and grasp opportunities.

Ken just offered me a temp place at the events company he's working at. 8/h weekdays, 12/h on weekends. 12/h for OT (after 9 hours).

Life felt like it was slowing down and I might even crumble because I've nothing to do (I sat on my ass for hours filling up the background with blue, for the picture of the Viner so I could have a better background) and I farmed fats.

I'm meeting Chef Christophe Megel, CEO of At-Sunrice GlobalChef Academy, for a coastal ride (60km) in the morning thanks to my elder sister Cheryl for introducing me to him.

I can't wait for time to pass and see what life has in store for me :)

I'll distract myself as much as I can so I won't think about her. Wow really, just a month plus and I'm so deep, maybe I should learn to take things lightly? But that's not me right? If I do something, I give it my all.

Yawns, time to sleep and wake at 6am :)

Whew.

2010-06-11T14:02:00.001+08:00

Got a new seat post for the Viner.

GHC went orgasmic over the Italian frame. Said if I ever wanted to sell the frame/bike, there'll always be a buyer waiting to buy a vintage Italian frame :D

I am now at ease with my purchase :)

2010-06-11T09:22:00.002+08:00

Viner Road Bicycle
Made in Italy
Columbus Steel
Full Shimano 105
700X23
12 spd? (2X6 = 12?)
UKAI Rims
Maxxis Fuse Tyres
Shimano PD-M520-S

I feel like a new man.

A complete bike at last. Made in Italy wtf? My fave is the brake hoods for climbing awesomeness.

1-2kg lighter than the larger Shimano bike. Significantly smaller but whatever.

Why am I so intense argh. I kinda miss her.

:)

2010-06-09T16:36:00.004+08:00

I shall not have a conflict of interest with the parties discussed in my post.

The moment a perspective/thought is released into the world, it can and will affect how people think, conscious or not.

I now know how Dawn felt, more than ever. We were so close and now we're nothing.

She never told me not to expect anything right from the start. I had to find out on my own about her ex boyfriend and even then, nothing was set in stone on what we should do.

I'm passionate in ALL that I do. I'll do anything for anyone as long as I know they share the same trust and respect. I'm not possessive or obssessed. As long as I know something is set in stone, I'll happily do the ideals, to give one space, respect and attention and care whenever it's due.

Don't even talk about the seeing us together like Eric and Sloan would be mature and kinda cute or say I should have just went for the kiss when you obviously can't let the past go. It's not that I don't understand how it's like. I was there before and it sucks but why even consider for one moment and at another instance go I don't like you enough to be together. And then you say it's also because I said we could be best friends. I said that because obviously you have given your ex a second chance and you keep saying no to me but hey you go back on that and say it's because I dropped you when I said we should be best friends. How now brown cow?

Now I'm stuck, alone with my gear. My goals of becoming a full fledged health and fitness enthusiast and achiever is being realized. But when will I find the girl who can trust me for who I am and see what I can be?

Only time will tell.

I feel there's something you're not telling me. But whatever, I shall never ask you this question.

what's happening readers

2010-06-09T02:11:00.001+08:00

RWJ always makes me ROFLMAO.

roflmao.

Perhaps I'm all that they say I am. I might not be conscious about it but hmmm it's what you do that defines you right?

:)

I shall accept it for now.

:)

2010-06-08T20:10:00.002+08:00

Zoot seat post. It's super long, like 3/4 or even 1 m! 28 bucks.

Met Faiz and I can get 40% off stuff from RLabs. Nice, gna get the Zoot long sleeve compression top for baby sis's birthday.

Got a front light for my bike after Daddy's nagging.

Right knee still bugging me. I shall not cycle till it's perfectly fine and go for a crazy ride with Jina, Faiz, Ryan and anyone who wants to get crazy fit idk?

She didn't reply me for a whole day so I thought I gave a very bad first impression for telling her she looks cute with long hair :X

I shall ask Y and C out for kite flying, I'll make my own and let her have hers back. I think I won't buy C's SP tb. I'll read it till army and return it to her.

Working on fri and sat. $120 will cover sis's birthday present. Still awaiting JPMCC and ASM's nice allowance as well as my module award monies.

Game on Life.