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Tuesday, May 24, 2011
Concluding Thoughts
So I met up with Shufen to get a little book. I've said everything I needed to but she still wouldn't change her mind so this is the end. I just feel she's not even giving us a chance to try and work things out for our future together. I do hope after I'm gone to Brunei, where I won't be able to annoy her for this 3 weeks, that we'll be able to talk things out and be together again. She's a great girl, I know it. That's why I love her and can't bear to let her go. I just hope the all too familiar, back from overseas exercise and she's with another guy. Wow then it'd be like a vicious cycle over again.

I've decided I shall not get into a new relationship, not until I'm done with army. At the very least after army. I'll try for the first time in my life to have good female friends :P

Teh couldn't get a car so I'll get the bike from him when I'm back from Brunei. So question is to strip parts from my current bashed up bike and transfer to the new or do nothing?

I've put so much effort, time, research into my bashed up roadie. Fork's a little stray so I might strip it, clean it and keep it.

This time I'll promise to clean my bike every 2 weeks. Maintainence twice every year. Quite abit of equipment. I need a new helmet, bike tools and prolly new wheels and a proper workspace for my bike. Oil, chain remover, grease, lotsa nuts and bolts and wrenches and allen keys and screwdrivers and stuff.

Daddy never listens argh. T craved for Pandan cake so I'm like Papa you know how to make Pandan cake and he's like WHY MUST MAKE PANDAN CAKE WHY CAN'T MAKE BUTTER CAKE. I'm like ... okok chill.

I'm 22. Got to work towards the future. Not that I don't have a plan but I need to be "at the push of a button" ready. Haven't been practicing that. Can I save 800 a month? If I don't get my BAC then they'll cut $300 and backpay me when I get the badge. So the govt's helping me save $300 every month so I'll save $500. Out of the $200, $50 on transportation and now that I'm single, too easy to be spending $150.

Goal is still . . . $18k by ORD (LETS SETTLE FOR $10k PLEASE MDM GAN?). Half of probably school fees if I make it to NTU (fingers crossed). And hopefully get the study grant by Lee Foundation and it'll do for now. No I hate to depend on others to lend me money and stuff. I want my own effort to bring me places. And while I'm studying I can help Ann/Kenneth out once in awhile and save money and maybe even erm some jobs? (lol train hard now but me complexion's in the gutters already sigh boohoo) because they pay good, like GOOD man.

Extend ORD? Ranger? $2k+ for 6 months? Don't think it's for me. Yes I need money but I need more recognition for my abilities than pure cash because knowledge and respect are cash cows on their own.

That being said perhaps I shall sweep the dust off the math textbook/workbooks I got before I enlisted. Free on the weekends . . . practice? Math and science is SOOO important at the higher level when understanding the basics and its purpose is key. Concepts! Foundationalll. Basicccs.

I know in everything that I do. I do my best. Even when fucking up so yea when I'm awesome I'm fawesome when I'm an ass I'm a fass.
9:21 AM

Felix Chia

I wanna be a scientist ; sports scientist ; cyclist ; swimmer ; runner ; triathlete ; ironman triathlete ; good son ; good brother ; good friend ; good other half
Yes, right. I just wanna be happy, and be myself.
Your negative emotions fuel my body and mind, while your positive emotions motivate me.
I win. Always.

“But oh! the blessing it is to have a friend to whom one can speak fearlessly on any subject; with whom one's deepest as well as one's most foolish thoughts come out simply and safely. Oh, the comfort—the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person—having neither to weigh thoughts nor measure words, but pouring them all right out, just as they are, chaff and grain together; certain that a faithful hand will take and sift them, keep what is worth keeping, and then with the breath of kindness blow the rest away.” ~Dinah Craik (erroneously attributed to George Eliot), A Life for a Life


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